In the middle of the 1990s, I was devastated by a traumatic event in my life. I began to re-attend worship services with my father in an LC-MS church. I had thrown off Christianity since my youth, and all seemed lost in my life. During one of the sermons, it was preached something about the redemption of the whole world.... I forget the exact words used.
Hmmmmm.... what? You mean God would still be gracious to me, even after I had so horribly thrown Him off like a dirty rag? All the counsel of the world to relieve my pain (I sought a lot of counsel) was never even close to this message. You mean all the counsel of the world is exactly contrary to God's counsel? Surely God isn't that gracious... is He? I recall the tears of (possible) joy as my thought was: "You mean God, that you were always there, even when I rejected you, there in my back pocket in the (Lutheran) training of my youth? My faith was re-kindled at that moment by the gracious God, but it was still weak. I had to be sure of this universality of Justification and Redemption, otherwise I was sure I was going to Hell! I devoured God's Word listening by cassette tapes the entire KJV at least 2 times through. And I recall the passages of God's desire for the salvation of all men: Ezekiel 33:11, 1 Tim. 2:4, 2 Peter 3:9, Matthew 26:50. And in the Matthew passage cited, Jesus called Judas... friend? Jesus, you knew what Judas was going to do to you... you knew he was going to deny you... ? Why would you call Judas ... FRIEND? At that moment, I heard Jesus call me, the one who so horribly denied Him, ... friend! I knew then that this was my lifeline... and my confession remains this (as before) that:
If Jesus did not die for the sins of the whole world, yes even the sins of Judas, then I'm going to HELL!And then in my readings of Christian literature, I began to gravitate to the writings of Luther, Walther, and Pieper. I did this like a moth to a source of light. It was that weak faith that had to know, to be certain, that had to erase all vestiges of doubt. But now in my next post I will bring out the quotes of Walther that slammed me into my chair and pounded the Kingdom of Heaven into my heart!
Dear God! You are a witness to the tears in my eyes even now...
(Part 1 of quotes of Walther on Justification is next)
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